Wednesday, February 4, 2015

2014.

It's been pretty difficult to summarize this past year. So this post is more of just ramblings. 

2014 was bi-polar, really.

In the seemingly endless dark pit that was this past July, I thought, nothing will ever be worse than this. Losing a friend in the most horrific, unthinkable way. I was in a cloud of grief and guilt that I should/could have done more. Maybe I could have prevented this. But I couldn't have. And it was a hard, but healing, notion to accept. My Dad very realistically, in his fashion, reminded me that this won't be the most difficult thing I will have to go though, which was another hard pill to swallow. But something I needed to hear. 

Things had a way of coming together. It was like actions were already taking place before this past July, to make sure that I was going to be okay and happy again. Little coincidences and chance meetings. It's rare that these things reveal themselves so soon in retrospect.  

I believe people's souls have a way of telling us goodbye, without so many words. Whether it be a wonderful, real conversation that you haven't had in a long time or something as simple as asking for your shoes to be put on, even when you haven't been able to walk for a year. The soul knows to leave us with a lasting, warm memory. 

I was handed a complicated bundle of life experiences this year, but it made me count my blessings, to be thankful for all the problems I don't have. For health -  mental and physical. For beautiful and supportive friends. For loving, understanding parents. 
There's always someone who's having it worse, so I will refrain from ever saying "My life sucks," because it absolutely doesn't.
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Fantastic things happened this year too, because life will always naturally ebb and flow and we really shouldn't define things in a January-December sense. 

I met/became closer to talented, grounded people whom I admire in many aspects.
Making friends post-college is a different beast, but a rewarding one.

The older I get the less bullsh*t I am willing to put up with. It's empowering and makes my insides feel healthy and strong when I say NO MORE. 

As cheesy as it sounds, I fell madly in love with improv and miss it on the days I am not doing it. I love it, even if it doesn't always love me back. I might never make a living doing it, but it fufills me. How bohemian? 

This little garden, hobbit hole apartment I call home. Improv training, going out with classmates for a beer after. Dueting with my roommate while we cook. The coffee dates with friends. Saving pennies. Not having a life plan. My twin size bed. 
I love this slice of my 20's right now. 
Can you be sentimental about something while you're still going through it? Cause that's where I'm at.

Here's to a simpler, happier, successful 2015. 

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