Wednesday, February 4, 2015


It's been pretty difficult to summarize this past year. So this post is more of just ramblings. 

2014 was bi-polar, really.

In the seemingly endless dark pit that was this past July, I thought, nothing will ever be worse than this. Losing a friend in the most horrific, unthinkable way. I was in a cloud of grief and guilt that I should/could have done more. Maybe I could have prevented this. But I couldn't have. And it was a hard, but healing, notion to accept. My Dad very realistically, in his fashion, reminded me that this won't be the most difficult thing I will have to go though, which was another hard pill to swallow. But something I needed to hear. 

Things had a way of coming together. It was like actions were already taking place before this past July, to make sure that I was going to be okay and happy again. Little coincidences and chance meetings. It's rare that these things reveal themselves so soon in retrospect.  

I believe people's souls have a way of telling us goodbye, without so many words. Whether it be a wonderful, real conversation that you haven't had in a long time or something as simple as asking for your shoes to be put on, even when you haven't been able to walk for a year. The soul knows to leave us with a lasting, warm memory. 

I was handed a complicated bundle of life experiences this year, but it made me count my blessings, to be thankful for all the problems I don't have. For health -  mental and physical. For beautiful and supportive friends. For loving, understanding parents. 
There's always someone who's having it worse, so I will refrain from ever saying "My life sucks," because it absolutely doesn't.
Fantastic things happened this year too, because life will always naturally ebb and flow and we really shouldn't define things in a January-December sense. 

I met/became closer to talented, grounded people whom I admire in many aspects.
Making friends post-college is a different beast, but a rewarding one.

The older I get the less bullsh*t I am willing to put up with. It's empowering and makes my insides feel healthy and strong when I say NO MORE. 

As cheesy as it sounds, I fell madly in love with improv and miss it on the days I am not doing it. I love it, even if it doesn't always love me back. I might never make a living doing it, but it fufills me. How bohemian? 

This little garden, hobbit hole apartment I call home. Improv training, going out with classmates for a beer after. Dueting with my roommate while we cook. The coffee dates with friends. Saving pennies. Not having a life plan. My twin size bed. 
I love this slice of my 20's right now. 
Can you be sentimental about something while you're still going through it? Cause that's where I'm at.

Here's to a simpler, happier, successful 2015. 

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